Chores = Improved Cognition and Wellbeing
‘Children who were required to do self-care and other-care chores were in fact more likely to exhibit better academic performances and problem-solving skills.’ La Trobe University 2022
Research has confirmed that engagement in such activities can:
- increase feelings of autonomy
- improve prosocial behaviours (eg. responsibility, accountability, organisation, time-management, contribution, work ethic, respect, and gratitude)
- lead to greater life satisfaction and self-esteem
- Improve child cognitive development - particularly executive functioning
Through doing chores, children develop important technical skills, but more importantly, they learn perseverance and determination in getting a job done, time management, accountability to meeting quality standards, and initiative.
Being able to cook a meal, iron a shirt, look after a pet, mow enough lawns to buy a computer, or hold down a part-time job are all sources of instructable pride. We should give our kids lots of chances to experience their capabilities. This is especially the case in a world where the media attacks children's mental health, telling them that self-esteem is about how you look and what you own. (Steve Biddulph)
By the time your son leaves home, he needs certain life skills that will enable him to function well in the world and form healthy long-term relationships. These skills directly affect his wellbeing. If he doesn't acquire these skills, he is likely to struggle. (Dr Arne Rubenstein)
Research also indicates that children who help around the house are more likely to offer help in other situations than children who simply participate in their own self-care.
What could it look like?
The following tips can be helpful in establishing chores:
- Find a good time to discuss doing jobs or the fact that they are not doing them! Make sure you have time and that your son’s emotions are not elevated.
- Introduce humour.
- Explain why a job is important to the family and that you would really value their help.
- Ask them for suggestions about various jobs.
- Praise positive contributions, being specific and focusing on effort (growth mindset).
You're inviting and empowering your child, not guilting and burdening them.
Some possibilities include:
- Toddlers (Ages 2-3): At this age, children enjoy "copying" adults. Chores should be simple, done with direct supervision, and focused on self-care and tidying their personal space (eg. put toys away, books on shelves, and dirty clothes in the laundry basket; wiping up small spills).
Tip: Make it a game! Sing a song while tidying or turn putting toys away into a fun challenge. - Preschoolers (Ages 4-5): With improved fine motor skills and the ability to follow 2-3 step instructions, preschoolers can handle more complex tasks, often with less supervision (eg. make their bed, set parts of the table, empty small bins, put away light groceries).
Tip: Use a simple visual chore chart with pictures to help them remember their tasks. - Young School-Age (Ages 6-8): Children this age can master regular, multi-step tasks. The focus shifts to contributing to shared family spaces (eg. keep their entire room tidy, sweep and vacuum small areas, wipe the bench, load and unload the dishwasher, help prepare food, take out the rubbish).
Tip: Focus on consistency. Establish a routine where chores have priority and are done before activities like screen time or playing with friends. - Pre-Teens (Ages 9-11): Pre-teens are ready for independence and can be responsible for entire areas or processes. They should begin doing tasks from start to finish (eg. take full responsibility for their own laundry, clean the bathroom, vacuum the house, rake the leaves, prepare and cook a simple meal, wash the car).
Tip: You could introduce an allowance for "extra effort" chores to teach money management, while keeping basic contributions part of being a family.
When a boy experiences the pride of being useful to his family, and then later to his relatives and to the wider circle of people who like and respect him, he tastes the special joy of earning respect through contributing. Once tasted, he will never lose that feeling. If a boy gets hold of the joy of being useful, it will affect his values for life and all that goes with that. (Steve Biddulph)
Assigning age-appropriate chores is not just about getting help around the house, it's a vital tool for teaching competence, character, and life skills that lead to greater success in school, work, and personal relationships.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”. Proverbs 22:6
Peter Grimes | Headmaster
References:
La Trobe University - Melbourne - Link - Children's Chores Improve Brain Function
Inc. - Link - Kids Who Do Chores Are More Successful Adults, According to Science
Steve Biddulph – Raising Boys in the 21st Century
Dr Arne Rubenstein - The Making of Men - Raising boys to be happy, healthy and successful.
